Blessing in Disguise

It’s been a while since I wrote something and I know I’ve been neglecting my blog but a lot has happened since the end of January. At first, I was so stressed out to the point where it was all I could think of. I was not getting any sleep at all. See I pride myself on being independent and being able to do things for myself no matter what but due to the unfortunate circumstances, things weren’t looking good. I’m used to being able to do as I please, spend as much as I want because I knew I was getting it right back and what my man brought to the table was extra. But due to this incident all that was about to change. I never really depended on a man. See growing up in a single-parent home my mom taught me at an early age to only depend on yourself so as I got older that mentality stayed the same. Now when dating yes I received gifts whether it was money, clothes or trips, it was all extra. My boyfriend told me he had me but I wanted to have myself if you know what I mean. He is very dependable but this was something new to me to actually depend solely on a man. Luckily it did not come to that because I like to shop some would say I shop too much but hey it’s my money I can do as I please! But back to the real problem.

Has anyone ever been on administrative leave and been left in the dark with no update? If so, it’s the worse feeling ever because your mind will think the worse so just in case if it does come true you have already put yourself through it but if it doesn’t you done stressed yourself out for no reason. Either way, it’s the worse feeling ever. I’m the type of person that always thinks the worse so I can have my backup plans lined up, something else my mom has always taught me. A week of not knowing had me applying everywhere because I had bills to pay and plans I already paid for. I was literally applying to everything I qualified for and let me say this half of those jobs on a good day I would not have thought twice about but again I had bills and right now was not the time to be picky. So I finally got the call from my job to come in but I already had in my mind that they were not going to allow me to return and I was actually fine with that because I was sick of that job completely. The money was good but the work environment was horrible. I dreaded every day going to work because I never knew what I would be faced with. If it wasn’t for some of my coworkers I would’ve been quit, they actually made my shifts enjoyable. I still don’t see how my job is still up and running which is sad because we work with people who really need help and my employment was only focused on the money coming in not the people they were supposed to be helping. That place and their practice are a whole different blog it’s a lot of trusts. 

So I had an interview right before I had a meeting with H&R and that interview was not for me. I’m about to toot my own horn right now. I already knew I had the job before the interview ended but I knew it wasn’t for me. I was really thinking that I’m about to put myself right back in the same predicament I was just in working somewhere I would not enjoy. I know some will say all work is not fun but I’ll be damned to be working for a company that I hate or does not appreciate me as an employee. Life is not that hard for me that I have to sacrifice that much just so I can collect a paycheck because it will start to show in my work performance and I’m a damn good worker to allow that to happen. So I’m sitting in the meeting I can tell on their stale faces I’m being let go which I already knew but just wanted them to care enough to tell me. They gave this long speech which I felt was unnecessary because I could get a word in or speak on behalf so I felt like it was pointless. I refused to sign my termination letter because how can two people that were not there determine the outcome but we know how that works. 

Once I got back to my car I felt relieved, I felt like it’s been my time to go and I stayed there for all the wrong reasons the money and the location not for the people that really needed me. As I’m driving to meet my mom and sister for lunch I got a call from the man I just interviewed with calling to offer me the job, which I already knew. Of course, I accepted it because duh I just got fired from one job and needed another so my life could continue just the same. But the more I spoke with my family, my man and myself I knew that job wasn’t for me. I was not about to work somewhere I would hate again right off the back no ma’am. So let me say I stepped on a limb here and wanted to see if I could make some decent money being my own boss. To my surprise, I made some really good money and even enjoyed it more. Being able to come and go as I please and spend more time with my family and man was a plus. I actually enjoyed waking up and making my own money for myself without someone over my shoulders telling me what to do. I even made more on my own then at my old job and I worked fewer hours. Man if I knew what I knew now back then I would’ve been quit and took charge of my life. I’ve been on my own for what close to two months and I was making it and have more than enough extra to do as I please. I’m glad I was able to bounce back so quickly and really for once feel in control. Losing my old job was truly a blessing in disguise.