Forbidden Fruit 🍓

We all have that forbidden fruit, mine just happen to my high school teacher. I know what we did was wrong but at the time it felt so right and even after our affair was over he still had a strong hold over me physically and mentally. Yes, I was young and naive and for him to show me interest made me want to see what else was in store. Him choosing me out of all the girls that flaunted themselves at him made me feel special, I felt untouchable. 

 

He always told me how mature I was for my age and for once I felt like a woman. I know I may sound dumb but that's how I felt. He made my body develop in ways I never knew it could. What we shared was not just about sex because we did have deep intelligent conversations. And I know some of you are thinking what does a 15 year old girl and a 32 year old man have to talk about but we had a lot in common. Looking back at our relationship, I know it should not have happened, but at that time I was hooked and no other boy my age could do what he did. Again, it wasn't just sex. Yes, our bodies intertwined on multiple occasions but what he gave me no one else could at the time. 

 

Before you start judging me I had an active mother in my life who showed me that she loved me dearly but with him it was different. And I knew who my father was and yes he was around when I was growing up. So the stereotype for why a younger girl dates an older man is not the case because both my parents showed me they loved me and still do till this day. With him it was just different I don't know if you can understand but take my word for it, it just was.

 

When I came to my senses I decided to end it. Nothing about leaving him alone was easy. To be honest he might have been the hardest thing I have ever walked away from but for my sanity I had to. Years down the road and even after I became someone else's wife, I still felt like I belonged to him. It was like he controlled me mentally and that my soul belonged to him. As weird as it sounds, it felt like we were soul mates years later. It took me awhile to actually be able to move on. I know what we did was inappropriate but at the time it felt so right. I'm not here for judgements I just finally needed to get this off my chest. I'm finally letting one of my skeletons out of the closet.