Behind Bars

"Storms will come we know this for sure but can you stand the rain", New Edition. Some people will never understand what it's like dealing with a man who is incarcerated. Me personally,  if I had a choice, I wouldn't  but you just can't help who you love. Love comes without instructions, so with that being said, I love who I love. No one is perfect and everyone is raised differently. I learned this the hard way. It often felt like those things that were natural for me were foreign for him. 

As a result, I learned that a persons upbringing has a lot to do with the path they choose to take. Not everyone experiences the genuine and unconditional love that some of us received from our parents. Even still, everyone is looking for love and if it's not given at home the streets will give a young boy exactly what he's looking for or so he thinks.  People are so quick to judge when it comes to men who sell drugs. For some reason there is a stereotype about men who do this line of work as if they're the worst type of men; I dont believe this to be true. Let's not forget about the males who beat women or those who scam/rob.....in my eyes, they're just as bad  because both take things that don't belong to them!  Not every man that sells drugs is a bad guy,  actually there are some decent men who were just dealt a different deck of cards. This may be all they know. Not saying what they're doing is right or the best thing but it's what they've been taught in order to survive. Remember the saying by any means necessary? Well,  their means meant risking their freedom to put money in their pocket. Not here to make excuses for their choices but different things for different people.

Being on the outside dealing with a man who is locked up is hard. And I don't mean hard because the money is no longer coming in because the money was an added benefit to the relationship that I genuinely enjoyed. When love is involved our main focus is making sure that our man comes home to us safely and unharmed. The small things we once took for granted, are the same things we now miss the most. Like those arguments that get us in our feelings and have us angry at each other for days and not being able to pick up the phone just to hear their voice is the worst. Not being able to spend time or roll over for that random kiss is an unbearable feeling. And we won't even talk about those visits, those are the worst, especially when you have to leave. Who  wants to leave their man in there?  All I ever want to do is hold his hand as I'm leaving so we can go home together. Seeing the man you love behind a glass window or to see them shackled up is something no woman should have to endure. I know some are thinking, well, you two knew what he was into and the potential outcome of his actions..... and yes we did but no one wants to see their loved one treated like an animal. 

For anyone to think that when these men get sentenced that they're only the ones doing the time, they're wrong. The women that love these men are sentenced also but in a different way. 

Sure, I heard it all before, things like..... he knew what he was getting himself into, being in the game doesn't last forever; what did you think was going to happen, you need to find a man who is not in the streets someone who has a job and their head on straight and oh of course you deserve better. Nobody wants to have the love of their life incarcerated but again you cant help who you love no matter what anyone says. Nor should you judge a man based on the fact that he sells drugs. Not everyone is given the same deck of cards nor the guidance. "Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it there is nothing and with it there is everything", Odebiyi Kolawole. Mine just happen to behind bars love is love regardless where the person maybe physically.