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We all know the saying if we knew better we would do better. Just think about when it comes to dating, we know what type of person we don't want to be with but yet we will put up with the unnecessary bs for what! It's either we don't want to be alone or we feel like we need them. Being alone scares a lot of people which causes us to settle and stay when we know it should have been over. For some odd reason being single or "alone", seems to always be compared with negativity.

 Society has told us if you're single then something has to be wrong with you or that you are not fully complete. Which I'm here to tell you they're wrong! Being with someone who doesn't add value is the worse thing. Having someone waste your time and use your energy when you know deep down inside that this is not what you really want ; you could do better but the feeling of being alone sets in and you start to rethink that this is better than being single and lonely. So many of us have had this same thought and I myself had multiple thoughts like it's not so bad but in all actual reality, it was that bad. There is no point in staying with someone who does not add value to you or the situation you're in. The worse thing to do is to stay with someone who you do not really care for or have chemistry with any longer because you don't want to be alone. 

Being alone could actually be a good thing I've learned over the years, those months that I stopped dating or conversing with men I got to know myself better and realized that the love I have for myself makes me complete and that being single is not so bad. Now I'm not saying I don't need a man but in all seriousness, I don't, but I do want one. For those who may have taken that wrong here's a little more clarity for you. It will always be nice to have some whose on your level or achieving their goals to uplift you, compliment you and even be that rock when times get tough but let's really think for a minute. Do we need a man/woman? The answer is no. What we really need is air, we need good health, we need shelter, we need money to survive and we need to truly love ourselves first before we try to love someone else. Men and women were made to be together so I truly believe with the right person we would make each other a better people in all aspects. Being single/ alone gives you time for yourself. It allows you to put yourself first and to focus solely on you and I don't see how doing this is a bad thing or could be perceived as something negative but instead positive. 

After every failed relationship both parties need time alone to analyze on why it did not work out or how he or she could have handled things differently in the next relationship so it can be more successful. I see more now then ever that people just jump from one relationship to the next. Which I never understood how because if you truly had feelings for someone then moving on will never be so easy. However, I notice people like to use the theory of getting under another to take their mind off the person who really matters and sometimes it works. In the beginning, it's all good but the further into dating the new person the same problems will reoccur or you never fully get over your ex because you never gave yourself time to heal. I know every person handles things differently but studies shows moving too quickly will not always be beneficial in the long run. It's like putting a band-aid on an open wound that needs serious care. Yes, it might stop the bleeding but the wound will never be fully taken care of until it's checked out. Hopefully that analogy did not go over your head. 

We all tend to stick around way longer then we should in a dead end relationship. No one benefits in these type of relationship we are only blocking our blessing. Our knight and shining armors or our Mr./Mrs. Right, however, you want to call the one that will make you glad that you never gave up. But in order for things like this to happen we have to stop trying to breath air into a lifeless situation or it might not be lifeless but if only one person is fighting to keep it from sinking then its time to let it go. I know leaving someone who you've thought you could grow old with or have a crazy bond with alone seems to be the hardest thing to do. And to be honest at first it will feel like days are going by slower, your thoughts will drift onto them and you'll even start to question yourself; thinking was this the right thing to do? I am here to tell you yes this will all happen but days will turn into weeks and weeks will turn into months. That time alone will help you figure out where you two went wrong and hopefully those months apart don't turn into years, because if you two really had something it will return and hopefully the time apart from one another gives each of you time to see how the next go around will be. This time if problems occur  because they will occur y'all take a different approach on handling things. If those months turn into years then be thankful you did not waste any more of your time of a relationship that was not leading to anywhere. 

As my brother-in-law tells me over and over again that time is something we cannot get back once it's wasted 

 its pointless to holding onto something that you're not happy in. You owe it to yourself to put yourself first and to be happy not to stay in some relationship because you don't want to be alone or have someone tell you that you have failed. All failures are not bad ”our greatest glory is not in never failing, but rising every time we fail”. Our failures are success if we learn from it”.