Temple

Ladies we all know when we gain weight and how unsatisfied we are with the way we are looking. Yet we do nothing about it. I'll be the first to admit that we as women we know before anyone else does that we have put on a few extra pounds. We can play like oh I didn't know how big I got but we know so let's be honest with one another, we know! Even after we see our bodies changing from the extra weight gain and how unhappy we are, we will continue to eat and make no efforts to change. 

Me personally food is my Best friend and my worse enemy at the same time. It's just something about food that makes me happy I even dance before I take my first bit each and every time.  I'm such a fat kid at heart. I can wake up with so many ideas on what I want to eat for the day and it's like 5 different heavy meals. Will I eat them, no, but the temptation has me craving them. You would think I was pregnant with these cravings and the ideals of food will take over my whole day until I give in.  I could have a talk with myself the night before like we have to tighten up, that tummy has now turned into a stomach and your chin now has a twin haha! I know I'm not the only one who tells themselves this or I might be. That's just me being brutally honest with myself. I critique myself hard because I know the image I want to look like or how I see myself. However, I will continue to eat all the wrong foods and we all know the unhealthy foods taste sooooooo good. 

It's not until we are ready to change we start making a difference within ourselves. Cutting back the fried foods, the sodas, the snacks, and fast food and more home cooked meals and portioning our intake with some type of workout. The journey of losing weight is not easy either trust me I know but the results are so worth it. For me, it's like I gained myself back.

 Food can be a coping mechanism for some and it can be like a getaway for others. Food and weight are a touchy subject for women. No woman wants to hear that she has gained weight and it's not so flattering but I think we all need to hear it. For me, I know when I gain weight as I stated before I would try to wear high waisted jeans with my cropped tops to get away with hiding my extra pounds. Until my older sister called me out on it and says ohhhhh girl you have gained some weight no crop tops for you. I laughed but her confirming what I already know gave me the push I needed to get it together. 

For everyone, it is different some don't want to hear they have gained weight but I use to think people could actually see the extra unflattering pounds but I may be mistaken. I think when we look in the mirror we see what we want to see not what's actually there and it gives us a false impression when we need to see the reality. Now with that being said nothing is wrong with being thick because everyone is not made to be small but when you're gaining weight in all the wrong areas it's time to tighten up. Some might even be saying who do I think I am for saying this. I am a person who has been there and know the feeling first hand. Weight has always been a issue for me. I have always struggled with what I felt like I should look like since I don't have any kids because when you add that into a factor you have to be careful because your health will go up and down during a pregnancy or after and I just want to be healthy in all aspects. 

Healthy yes, but mostly I want to look sexy while I'm naked! I have never wanted to lose weight because of a guy it's never been that serious in my eyes. You're either going to love me big or small it makes no difference to me. I love myself enough that no one can make me feel inferior but myself. I know losing weight has been compared with low self-esteem or trying to look like how the media thinks we should look like and I'm saying that's not the case. I like to wear certain things and with the extra weight, it does not flatter me in my eyes. I cannot speak for everyone but only for myself and that's how I view things. I like high waisted jeans/skirts, crop tops, formed fitting dressed, bikinis and everything else that shows my figure. Now with that being said, I think when wearing these things as I mentioned I have to tighten up.

Now when I was fed up with my extra pounds I started going to the gym. I can honestly say I hate the gym and yes hate is a strong word but I mean it. Nothing about the gym is fun. I do not like sweating at all and everyone is in there with a serious face. Boring! I need to be happy and playful to get through my workouts. So I turn on my music up to the loudest it could go and tuned everything out. Each workout  I envision myself with the body I want or that I'm at a party dancing my life away. Haha, I know this might sound crazy but the music I listen to gives me energy and it makes me want to dance! When I'm in there jamming, I actually forget that I'm even in the gym and my workout goes by kinda fast. I'm usually there for at least an hour and a half. The first two weeks are the hardest trust me I know. Sometimes I've had to give myself talks like ”Bitch (excuse my language) this is not the time to give up keep pushing, keep going, you got this. Go ahead and cheat yourself on this workout and you'll be cheating yourself on the body you want”, and that alone gives me what I need to keep going and finish my last 30 minutes or more. And once I'm done I am so happy with myself for not giving up on me. 

I've stuck with working out for two months straight and let me tell you it was a long ass two months but it was worth it. Let me tell you! I felt like myself again and happier. I never wanted to put clothes on. I'm that type of female that loves her body literally. I can look at myself naked in the mirror and smile from ear to ear and admire my beauty, all of it. I've lost a total of 16 pounds and I could not be happier. Even though I'm still not where I want to be but in the right direction. I even have cheat days or even a whole week. Life is about enjoying it so I have fun with my workouts and try to not take it so seriously. I want it to be a form of release and to not feel like a job if you know what I mean. Working out or trying to lose weight will never be easy but if you continue to push yourself the results will be worth every minute of you sweating off those pounds and closer to your goal.